bryan foster feat. mike hanes

Personally, I thought this year’s Olympics were the most memorable of my lifetime. The Phelphs sweep, the Lightning Bolt, the gymnastics drama, and the ceremonies themselves were all life long memories for me. I often forget, between Olympics, how amazing the athletes are. From the marathons and the road race and their tests of endurance and mental fortitude, to the diving champions who are focused on every muscle during their two second long dives.

I am seriously considering tickets for the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver…once a lifetime…maybe worth the sure hassle it will be…we will see..

In other news, on September 25, I will be here……for a week and then over to here……for another four days. I plan to do some serious snorkeling during this trip and hope to find myself a pod of these……to swim with. Melissa and I are in the process of buying our first digital camera, the Canon Powershot SD790 IS… …and its rather expensive underwater housing so we can bring back some of our experiences in photo form. I am desperately excited for this trip. Our honeymoon to Maui was absolutely stunning and we hope for more of the same on this trip. We will be toting our trusty Hawaiian Entertainment Book for big, big savings! We are meeting Matt Duran, Melissa’s brother, on Oahu as his Navy Destroyer, the Momson, will be making port there on its way home to Everett. Matt’s dad and best friend will also be heading to Oahu on a one-way plane ticket because they are participating in the ship’s “Tiger Cruise.” They will be joining the ship’s crew on its homeward leg from Hawaii to Washington. I, for one, would not be lured to spending six days on the heaving seas in one of the Navy’s tincans.

Well, that TV show sounds good, Jericho. This is such a good TV show that I watched a lot of it in a very short time span(s). Please watch it at cbs.com/primetime/jericho. You will lots of good season 1 episodes. I must, I really recommend watching it. The basic premise is that you should watch the show and figure it out. The problem is that it is mostly likely ultimately cancelled after the second season, so you may never get the closure you feel is necessary but it will be okay because it is a TV show and not your life, but there might be a movie of it. 

[Disclaimer: The following article is fiction. If you are an employer inquiring about Bryan Foster, please be aware that this information is not true,  it is humor. Please resume hiring Bryan as your employee]   

Bryan Foster (pictured below), infamous for his groundbreaking blog on the life of a single albino living in the slums of Decatur Washington, is hitting the 48 states hard with 230 dates in 229 days. Says Foster, “My unyielding dimensia is the cause, as well as my love for the contiguous United States”. Choosing to stay away from larger venues such as bus stations, truck stops, and strip malls, Foster’s shows will take place mostly in residential areas. Many dates are set to take place in people’s backyards, unbeknownst to the owners in many cases. “It’s sort of like what Jesus the Christ did”, muses Foster as he cleans a mustard stain from his stone-washed pant leg. Making the journey with him are his life-partner Alissa, his bleached-white mandolin, and his favorite vacuum cleaner box with which he slides down hills in slick areas. Foster says at the average show you can hear him talk about his dimensia, but only if you stand very close to him, as he says he can’t be bothered talking very loud. When asked if his unwillingness to raise his voice was somehow linked to his dimensia, Foster had no comment. When asked about his preference for 48 instead of all 50 states, Foster said, “I have already been to Hawaii.” Tickets are being sold at record low prices, even for such a lackluster event, Foster’s idealism obviously takes precedence over his mortgage payments.

No stranger to the lecture circuit, Foster first hit the road in 2005 with the mildly uncontroversial “centerist politics make for some decent breakfast table arguments” or CPMFSDBTA tour followed by the critically acclaimed “Dont call me a gambling man to my face” tour in 2007. Foster received much publicity in 2002 when linked with a fanatical disseminationists group from Western Washington University, a claim which Foster denies to this day, calling himself an agro-disseminator. Foster was yet again in the media spotlight when he recently began attending several well known mosques in the Washington state hamlet of Tacoma under the guise of research. Accusations of theoretical terrorism surfaced, but Foster maintains his Christianity religion. Tickets go on sale this Friday.

[Disclaimer - The following is a work of fiction intended to bring you pleasure.  Some, if not most, of the names have been changed and is purely happenstance if you know someone by the same name.  If you are employing Mike Hanes or Wesley Snipes, feel free to continue to do so.  Although, do take into account their propensity for tax evasion.  Thank you.]

Mike Hanes, 26, seen below boarding his private jet, the Circulator, has apparently renewed his effort to bring dissemination to the forefront of mainstream consciousness.  Some readers may recall that Hanes was last sighted in April 2004, collaborating with Wesley Snipes for the propogation of disseminated materials that have been banned by the IOC.  Hanes, previously wanted by every major power’s security forces, no longer has to move in the dark of night (even though he is in the picture below).  All charges have been dropped against him regarding his involvement in a major dissemination scandel involving several prominent world leaders.  Now that his movements are not restricted, we may be seeing more of this recluse.  In fact, he may be seen widely around the world plying his trade and sharing his thoughts on the necessity of mass distribution and dissemination of all manner of information and sea mammals.  According to sources close to Hanes, he plans to make his appearances in a dispersed fashion, much like his message.

Keep a weather eye.

You’ve heard the rumors, now it is confirmed. Mike and Bryan will team up for an audio podcast. The shows will be recorded and published bi-weekly in an hour-long format and be sponsored by the Mazda Motor Company. This will be a free download available on this website and on itunes.  Some of the topics discussed will be:Bryan’s life, Mike’s life, Bryan’s wife Melissa and her family, Dogs, Fast Food, Funny Stuff, A Call-In Portion Where All the Really Good Stuff Happens, Europe, Panthers, Gluten and Textiles. I would plan your week around it.

Please do your best to spread the word about the podcast, the more downloads we get, the more cars Mazda is willing to sell to us. At this point you don’t even have to listen to it, just download it, but you will probably want to listen to it because it will be very high quality and not very unentertaining. Also Mike and Bryan will guarantee it is good. Also what have you got to lose? Also its not like you are doing that much with your evenings anyway. Also CSI is probably a rerun tonight. Also we might have free t-shirts for you to buy that will support our podcast. Also maybe you could be a guest on our podcast, if you are funny or are willing to be made fun of live on an hilarious critically acclaimed podcast. Thanks for all your support, we couldn’t have made it this far without you, the fans. Stay tuned for updates.  ~mike

Obviously, this blog has been a bore to read lately.  It’s just been very busy.  I know, dear reader(s) that you have been anxiously awaiting something, anything to appear when you open up your browser.  For that, I am sorry.  So we begin again, with a renewed sense of trust, faith, and so forth.

Maybe some more weighty topics this week?  Yes I say.

Not so weighty

•  Rafael Nadel wins the “best tennis match of all time” this week.  He bested Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final after seven hours of play and rain delays.  The match obviously went the full five sets with a score of 6-4 6-4 6-7(5) 6-7(8) 9-7.  Quite a match.  Unfortunately, I saw barely minutes of it because of the delays and time zone difference.  However, this ushers in a new era in tennis, one which is not dominated by Mr. Federer.  The Federer/Nadel rivalry is, by my account, the best in professional sports.  No two other players of any sport are so evenly matched and yet, extremely different in style.  Reminiscent of Sampras/Agassi but without the American undertones.  If you get a chance to see the highlights of the match, I highly recommend doing so.

More weighty

• This week, we say goodbye to the Seattle Sonics who will become the Oklahoma City something.  Anyone got any good suggestions for their team name?  I have a few.  The Wafflers, The Bennettites, or maybe something more mundane like the Southerners.  You certainly wouldn’t want anything like Bombers in that city.  I wonder what colors they will use as well.  For me, I don’t much care that the Sonics are leaving their long-time home and I am actually proud of the legislature and city of Seattle for making a stand against pro sports and public subsidies.  Pro sports teams are businesses and if they want a new arena, they can pay for it.  If Safeco Insurance wants a new hq building, do they ask the city for money?  I hope not.  Off they go.  Happy trails.  I do hope they continue to tank season after season.  I am not optimistic about the possibility of Seattle attracting another NBA team and frankly, I do not much care.  Personally, I have lost interest in the NBA.  What do you think?  Happy?  Sad?  Upset? 

This is my new favorite show, Talk Show with Spike Feresten You can watch all episodes at fox.com/talkshow  Writer on Seinfeld for episodes such as The Soup Nazi and The Muffin Tops, also a former writer on SNL and The David Letterman ShowThis is all for now  

Something else that is also funny is that Bryan never commented on my first post here 

So we just upgraded our phones after 2+ years and thus far, I am very impressed with my Sony Ericcson w580i.  For $30, it seems to be full of useful features and applications.  Of course, ideally, I would love one of the new $199 iphones that will be available in July, however, our family plan wouldn’t really use all the data features of the iphone so, this will do nicely.

So I am back in school for the summer.  Below is my progress thus far.  So far, with three courses completed, amazingly, I have a 4.0 GPA.  Psychopharmacology should be interesting this session.  Learning about the medications that are used for psychological conditions, their side-effects, and how they interact with the brain’s neurotransmitters is very interesting.

Psych 578 - Ethics: A

Psych 511 - Assessment: A

Psych 508 - Life Span Development: A

Psych 533 - Psychopharmacology: In Progress

Psych 563 - Clinical Issues in Human Diversity: In Progress

FYI

• Ryan and Nicole Barnard have a new website, located at rnbarnard.com.  Someday, they will have pictures from the honeymoon to Italy up there so be sure to check it out.

• Mike has got me addicted to the Ricky Gervais Radio Show Podcasts.  They are available on itunes and the show is pretty hilarious. Be sure to check that out.

• I’ve been playing the demo for the upcoming FPS Battlefield: Bad Company and I am looking forward to release later in the month.

That’s the news for now.

Play a record!